Being A Mother Without Regret: Are You In Your Children’s Movie?
It happened a couple of years ago; I was watching my family outside skating on our backyard rink. It was almost like I was looking at a movie. At that moment, something quickly struck me.
I am not in my children’s memories when I am sitting here watching them outside playing with Daddy.
I used the word “hibernate” once winter hit. I never did appreciate our time together as a family as soon as snow began to fall. During the winter months I was miserable, boring, bitter, cold, and always hibernating.
It was that moment watching my children through the window playing with Daddy, making memories without me that I realized I was in fact wasting precious time. I was spending six months a year hiding inside the warmth of our house because “I hated winter“.
First off, what was this teaching my kids? I started to notice a few of them complaining about the cold and becoming negative nellies along with me. This wasn’t good for any of us.
Second, how did I lose the active person I am once the winter arrived? We live in Canada, and I may as well suck it up and learn to appreciate the beauty of nature during our cold and long winter months.
That moment, I stopped whatever it was that seemed more important, the laundry could wait, the muffins I planned on baking we could do without. I bundled up to join my family outside that cold winter day and every winter day to follow.
Bookmark: Activities For Everyone: Ontario Winter Getaway At Horseshoe Resort Barrie!
Being A Mother Without Regret
Today, when my family is on our backyard rink, I am making memories with them. I am a vital part in their movie now, and these memories are far more important than folding towels and hibernating.
There are days I don’t throw my skates on, sometimes I take pictures, I cheer them on and other days you will find me with a stick in my hand going for a goal.
One thing I have learned as a Mother is that time is precious and goes so very quick. Thinking back to our children as baby’s and toddlers I feel like I wasn’t emotionally present. We had four babies in 5 years, and regret continually goes through my mind.
Did I get down on the floor to play with them enough?
Did I do all I could do?
I know I wasn’t emotionally present when they were baby’s and toddlers, I was exhausted, worn out and pulled thin.
I have no excuses for today or tomorrow.
Moving forward I will not be looking back with regrets. Today I know better, I will stand next to our children when they are making memories, and you won’t find me peeking through our living room window hibernating.
Being present with my family experiencing the joy of winter has made me a happier person and a better Mom. I am so glad that a power greater than me showed me the way. I am being a mother without regret.
Are you in your child’s movie or watching from the window?
Thanks for reading In R Dream!
It’s so nice that you saw this as a challenge and pushed yourself to take it on!
This brought tears to my eyes. I do this sometimes (peek through the window while my husband makes memories) whether because of the weather or exhaustion, or some other reason. Last night I had some time to spend with my oldest, kicking a soccer ball around inside of a gym. It was so much fun for both of us! I need to do things like that more often. Thanks for the inspiration, Tammy! 🙂
Heather, I am so happy you found inspiration in my post. Something like kicking a soccer ball around does feel pretty amazing, doesn’t it? I remember doing that last summer with my kids and they talked about it forever. It’s the little things that matter 🙂
I love love love this!
“I am a vital part in their movie now, and these memories are far more important than folding towels and hibernating.”
I had this moment watching my littlest build a snow fort!
Thanks, Shannon!
It feels as good to be there for us, as it does for them!
I wholeheartedly agree with this and live by it as well. I used to hate winter, then I picked up skates and remembered how to skate with the kids and joined them on all of their field trips skating and I loved it, then we started tubing and playing outside and walking in any and all weather together and sledding and now skiing and dog sledding. It is all quality time and winter is long in Canada if you don’t embrace it. So you might as well dress in layers and get out there too. Great post. Exactly, 100 % my philosophy too. Also as much as I joke that sometimes I feel like my kids are killing me, in reality I am much healthier than I ever was in my 20s because I get outside and I do all the sports with them. That is a gift that they give to me.
I am so happy to hear you can relate Paula. It is like I am reading my own story in your comment. Starting small and evolving. It feels so great and yes I feel 10X times healthier! A gift to us all!
Wonderful article, I sometimes feel the same way, when I see how many photos I take that i am not in with the kids, and my new year’s resolution is to be more physically present in their games and activities.
I am so happy to hear this Ruth!
I challenge you to take a selfie this winter with the kids outside 🙂